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Waiting to Marry

Monday, January 25, 2010 1 Comment

Recent Census numbers reveal Americans are waiting longer to marry. Whereas in 1956 the average age for marriage was 20 for women and 22 for men, today the average ages are 26 for women and 28 for men. What’s going on? I remember a funny conversation my roommates and I had back when I was in college. We were trying to guess the ages we would all marry. While we thought a couple of us would marry right out of college, I was thought to be one of the last who would marry at 25-years old. At the time 25-years old sounded ancient. Yet I knew I had lots to do and accomplish before settling down. I wanted to make a mark on the world and to do this I needed graduate school first. I ended up finding lots of things to keep me busy and I ended up pushing off marriage until I was 32-years old. Thinking back now, I’m glad I waited. It gave me time to work on me and do the things I felt I wanted to do with my life. It also gave me time to find the man I wanted to marry. When we finally had kids (the first coming when I was 34 and the last at 39-years old), I knew I was really ready.

But there is a trade-off. I’m sure I’ll be one of the older moms at my kid’s college graduations. But that’s ok. I still wouldn’t change a thing. Some of the younger moms will probably want to go back to school, travel, or work on projects they weren’t able to finish prior to kids. Maybe I’ll go back to school too – who knows? In the end, deciding when to marry is an individual decision and one that each of us needs to make on our own.

And I’ll keep hoping and working towards equal rights for all couples who wish to marry, regardless of sexual orientation, race, and gender. No one should tell us when, how, or if we should be able to marry.

One Response to “Waiting to Marry”

By Dan Bass on March 25,2010 7:03 pm

I have a perspective on marriage that many may not have. However, I believe that it is a slowly growing phenomenon. People who have been married before have experienced the court system in ways that they never dreamed possible. It can be arbitrary, unfair, and sometimes benefits no one except the attorneys.

I am not afraid of commitment with the right person. But next time, I will get married in the Church, but not under the State.

By the same token, I also am in favor of equal right for all couples who wish to marry in the State regardless of sexual orientation, race or gender. I also believe that the State should not be able to tell us how many people we can marry.