Just heard of another young boy taking his life because of bullying. Jaheem Herrera, an 11-year old boy from Georgia hung himself after taunting and bullying from classmates. He was repeatedly called “gay” and a “snitch” What we are doing to boys today makes me really sad. Bullying is another way to keep boys in the stereotypic “boy” box…where they have to be tough, strong, and agressive. Why are people so afraid to let boys show their feelings? How many more kids will die before we learn we need to raise our sons differently?
Archive for the ‘sexual orientation’ Category
By now everyone has heard the rumors that a top contestant on American Idol, Adam Lambert, is gay. Not only is he possibly gay, he’s a “gender-bender” as well. Oh my god, what will we do? I am so sick of hearing about this. Why does it matter who Adam Lambert loves and what clothing styles he wears? Do I care that he wears more eyeliner than I do? He’s got an awesome voice and I love to watch him perform. He’s not bad to look at either, although I’m a little old to go for black nailpolish on a guy.
It always amazes me what people spend their time thinking about. I blogged yesterday about an 11-year old who hung himself because of gay taunting in middle school. Why don’t we all ruminate about that story for a couple of weeks? That story got lost but what dominates the popular press are the stories about Adam’s sexual identity and orientation.
While other Idols have been busted for criminal pasts, naked pictures, affairs with judges, and even identity theft, Adam is an honest person. I don’t think he’s hurt anyone, stolen anything, or posed naked for anything. What we do know about him is that he’s a great singer. He’s also a great dancer. And, he’s pretty hot. That’s all I need to know.
The only problem I have left is explaining to my 12-year old daughter (who has built a shrine to Adam in her bedroom) that he might not be her prince in shining armour - he might be more comfy in makeup, sequins, and a halter top. Actually, she wouldn’t care – she’d take him any way she could get him.
In this short clip, one of my students, Kayleigh, discusses her sexual orientation and her faith. I used this video in my recent Open & Affirming workshop. Kayleigh does an excellent job explaining her feelings and thoughts.
Lately there’s been lots of chatter about sexual orientation in churches all over the country. As states debate the legality of same-sex marriage, churches debate the issues as well. However, it’s not all about same-marriage in the churches -it’s about whether or not churches will open their doors and be accepting of gay, lesbian, and bisexual members. Will they allow homosexuals and transgendered persons in their church?
Yesterday I was invited to speak about homosexuality to the members of a large Congregational church in Connecticut. This church has been debating ONA (short for “Open & Affirming”) issues, which are policies for public statements of welcome to all persons of all sexual orientations and gender identities. While many churches might claim they friendly and open to everyone - the facts often don’t support this. Gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgendered are often not included in the “everyone” definition. One gay student I was talking to last week told me that when his church found out he was gay, the pastor asked him to give up his homosexuality or stop coming to the church. In the meantime, the pastor told this student he would pray for him. Another gay student told me that she doesn’t go to church because she felt they did not want her there. Many gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered youth feel alienated and alone. They are often discriminated against and experience higher levels of depression and suicide than their heterosexual counterparts. This happens because many people around them reject them, including parents, relatives, friends, and teachers. Should the church reject them as well?
I was thrilled to meet with the Connecticut congregation yesterday and I found they had many questions about sexual orientation – Why do people become gay? How many gay people are there? Do gay people hate straight people? Are most gay people pedophiles? Do gay parents make gay kids? Can gay people be converted? Only through education can we teach and help people understand what these issues are all about.
I believe that congregations who adopt ONA policies will be enriched by the presence of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered persons. These people will bring a wealth of experiences, understandings, viewpoints, and opinions that can only add a new dimension to the churches that they might otherwise lack. And for the youth who are out there struggling for acceptance and understanding - ONA might just might save their lives.
- Welcome to Dr. Janell Carroll’s Website
- Visiting Polk State College
- Untreatable STDs Coming?
- The Censure of Nuns Who Talk about Sex
- Teaching Women about Sexuality
- What Do College Students Want to Know About Sex?
- I am BACK!
- For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage
- WCSU Photos
- Western Connecticut State U Rocks!!!
- abortion (1)
- About Dr. Carroll (3)
- cross cultural sex (5)
- Cross Cultural Sexuality (2)
- Dr. Carroll's Books (3)
- female sexuality (1)
- First Periods (1)
- Guest Columns: Sex Stories (1)
- KINK (1)
- male sexuality (1)
- marital sex (4)
- marriage (2)
- menstruation (3)
- pornography (1)
- puberty (3)
- random rants (15)
- recommended books (4)
- relationships (2)
- same sex marriage (1)
- sex (2)
- sex advice (2)
- sex and aging (1)
- sex and gender differences (3)
- sex around the world (8)
- sex education (6)
- sex on campus (20)
- sex questions (4)
- sexbyte (43)
- sexting (2)
- sexual orientation (6)
- STDs (1)