Lately there’s been lots of chatter about sexual orientation  in churches all over the country.  As states debate the legality of same-sex marriage, churches debate the issues as well.  However, it’s not all about same-marriage in the churches -it’s about whether or not churches will open their doors and be accepting of gay, lesbian, and bisexual members.  Will they allow homosexuals and transgendered persons in their church?

Yesterday I was invited to speak about homosexuality to the members of a large Congregational church in Connecticut.  This church has been debating ONA (short for “Open & Affirming”) issues, which are policies for public statements of welcome to all persons of all sexual orientations and gender identities.  While many churches might claim they friendly and open to everyone - the facts often don’t support this.  Gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgendered are often not included in the “everyone” definition.  One gay student I was talking to last week told me that when his church found out he was gay, the pastor asked him to give up his homosexuality or stop coming to the church.  In the meantime, the pastor told this student he would pray for him.   Another gay student told me that she doesn’t go to church because she felt they did not want her there.  Many gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered youth feel alienated and alone.  They are often discriminated against and experience higher levels of depression and suicide than their heterosexual counterparts. This happens because many people around them reject them, including parents, relatives, friends, and teachers.  Should the church reject them as well?

I was thrilled to meet with the Connecticut congregation yesterday and I found they had many questions about sexual orientation – Why do people become gay?  How many gay people are there?  Do gay people hate straight people?  Are most gay people pedophiles?  Do gay parents make gay kids?  Can gay people be converted?  Only through education can we teach and help people understand what these issues are all about. 

I believe that congregations who adopt ONA policies will be enriched by the presence of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered persons.  These people will bring a wealth of experiences, understandings, viewpoints, and opinions that can only add a new dimension to the churches that they might otherwise lack.  And for the youth who are out there struggling for acceptance and understanding - ONA might just might save their lives.